i'm going to san francisco for a few days, so you may not hear from me in a while. then again, if i find a computer, there's no telling what kind of things i may say..

i have mixed feelings about work related trips. i find myself burnt out on work related meetings. it's funny...i remember being a medical student, and wondering what it took to attend important meetings and play a key role in them.

now i find myself faced with responsibilities - i suppose you would call my job at this meeting a moderately key role...and all i can think of are the good old days when i was a free bird. days when i could skip all the sessions and enjoy the simple charm of a city. days where no one made demands, days where no one really looked for me.

not that a bunch of people do now..but just enough to annoy me. just enough to make this a real "work" meeting, leaving little room for freedom.

i guess the older i get the less ambitious i feel.

or maybe it's just that my ambitions have changed, my perspective taken on a sharper focus.

long gone is the desire to impress my colleagues. now i find myself just wanting to enjoy the days God has given me here on earth.

it's funny how that sinking realization comes almost a day late -
then again, it's never too late to live.