the african way

i want to live

the african way

though clouds obscure

and rain is sure

unshaken

i want to wait

the african way

though questions loom

and come what may

unfrazzled

i want to pray 

the african way

though answers tarry

and words be few

undoubting

i want to dance 

the african way

though others watch

and music's off

uncensored

i want to hope 

the african way

though plans unravel

disaster threatens

undaunted

i want to die 

the african way

though years be short

with troubles fraught

unfearful

© labujamra

pain

soul blemishes marring faces
eyes cast down avoiding gazes

fading scars reminding

of imperfections lurking

hidden handicaps in children

threaten revealing more

that's not quite whole

and others stare unashamed

hideous defects uninvited

surrounding me unsummoned

head pounding whispers rise

yelling out you're incomplete

blessed fate now convinces

no pain endured is wasted

the little boy peeks eyes smiling

and i see his arm - missing

© labujamra

i'm heading out of town for 2 weeks. i'm sure i'll have plenty to say when i come back...

don't miss me while i'm gone, and stay grounded - in the word, in good relationships, in acts of kindness...

i know my last poem is pretty cynical, but that's the ER for you. everyone thinks their problems are unique, but at the end of the day, it's the same old same old. it's true they say there's nothing new under the sun. i see it every day at work. and doctors get tired, and grumpy like the rest of the world. 

i know you know.

i guess i was just explaining a little what's behind my observations - up close and personal - of an ER...

the ER

another day, a gun shot wound

fever, headaches and parachutes

one by one they trickle through

febrile seizures and turning blue

another line they stand up straight

heads bent down while they wait

others sicker pass them by

silently they wonder why

another doctor one more question

he mumbles quickly without much passion

he barely sees their retching faces

overwhelmed by too many cases

another word they don't get

minds cluttered they start to fret

suddenly the doctor's gone

it seems as if they're all done

another day a fainting spell

wheezing cough no way to tell

back pain, leg pain, any pain, belly pain

after a while, it's all the same.

© labujamra

my life

i want my life to be more than this

more than money and mistaken bliss

more than mere service of these lips

i want my life to measure up

not with acts for men to see

not with the heart of a pharisee

i want my life to count for you

no more sadness and feeling blue

no more wandering without a clue

i want my life to be more than this

more than treasures here on earth

more than houses made with dirt

i want my life to simply say

in childlike faith she loved to pray

rain or shine or come what may

© labujamra

pride

i'm too restless to surrender

too satisfied with lesser things

too sated to feel hunger

too shallow to cry out

i'm too busy to notice

all the lost souls around me

i'm too narrow minded focused

on nothing else but me

i'm too strong to understand

too sufficient to see my need

too dependent on myself

too stubborn to confess

i'm too noisy to listen

to more than just my words

too dumb to figure out

there's more to life than this

i'm too rushed to smell the roses

too harried to slow down

too proud to bend the knee

Lord i beg you - deliver me from me

© labujamra

the cross

compelled to carry that wooden cross
the road began with joy and glee
each bend and turn promised relief
of life's routines and monotonies

but soon i staggered beneath the weight
of heavy burdens and loads of care
my heart tightened like a noose
unspoken needs, hard to lose

my shoulders stooped bent in pain
my cross a thorn hard to bear
all around me others stood
alone my soul misunderstood

what did i do to deserve this cross
now laid aside with cumbersome dross
my feet blistered like leaded freight
while i still shuffled in bended gait

then suddenly my eyes were opened
and next to me was one so gentle
he said that it was not intended
that this my cross be born alone

and as he bent to pick it up
i noticed something on his palm
it may have been dried up blood
or perhaps it was a well healed scar

next thing i know we're marching onward
my friend and i with welcome glee
my face shone brightly for all to see
my cross now light, my heart set free!

© labujamra

grace

just when i thought i was free

like a lion hungry and fierce

it pounced on me mercilessly

while i stared above helplessly

just when i thought i'd broken its spell

like a  tower attacked i crumbled and fell

surrounding me - taunting me - nothing but jeers

and the loud laughter of defeat

just when i thought i'd escaped

my guilt, my shame, my hopeless state

the memories of promises now starting to fade

my shoulders stooped under the weight

just when i thought i'd used up all of his grace

i found myself in a brand new place

my eyes transfixed on his gentle face

his arms outstretched in a loving embrace

© labujamra

not sure why i haven't blogged in a while...i just haven't felt like it...

anyway, maybe i'm back - but i don't want to commit to anything.

so, i just wanted to say hi again, and for the handful of you who read this blog, enjoy the next few days...or weeks..

lina

night shift

hush now, the clock is ticking
lights are dim
in windows flicker
shadows pierce
the fog surrounding
snow glistens
reflecting light
where darkness snickers
hush now the clock is ticking

hush now, the world is sleeping
my mind is racing
rest is fleeting
even the moon
with clouds is covered
and stars above
have disappeared
the day is over
hush now the world is sleeping

hurry now, it's almost morning
the sun is peeking
straining slowly
against the backdrop
of drooping eyelids
and pounding rhythms
almost ready
silence reigning
hurry now, it's almost morning

© labujamra

untimely death

How could I tell them the truth
their son lay lifeless and blue
his feet now clammy and cool
his eyes a colorless hue

How could I face them alone
their knees bent down on the floor
their words an echo forlorn
their faces in agony torn

How could I in duty go on
his memory still hovering near
the smell of his laughter adheres
the sky and the moon hide in fear

How could I in despair lose all hope
when I know life and breath He controls
quietly all my questions elope
and gently my tears He cajoles

© labujamra

anonimity

lost in a world full of people and worms
a number, a name, just a peep and a squirm
pictures not taken and faces forgotten
words barely spoken, phrases now stolen

around me the feeling that others are not
as lonely or broken, or tied in a knot
illusions of happiness almost deceive
in quickness of mind the lie I perceive

prayers that reach the expanse of the height
of faith that is shattered and now taken flight
if only the crumbs would fall from his table
giving me temporary rest and i'm able

the hem of his garment is out of my reach
i stretch and i strain he's all that i need
suddenly weary the quiet is eery
he reaches to me he knows me completely

© labujamra

potholes

potholes and craters
dream terminators
sudden, unwanted
surprising, undaunted

i try and i swerve
unsuccessful, the nerve
of others who curse
my thoughts intersperse

avoid them i would
if only i could
bumpless and easy
i wouldn't grow weary

but it's the potholes you see
that allow me to be
all that i am
and hope to be

© labujamra

doctor

doctor, doctor, i'm in pain
they cry out to me in vain
don't they know they're not alone
look around at all the clones

doctor, doctor, i've been waiting
i hear them thinking echoes rising
if only they could understand
i'm just a member of the band

doctor, doctor, please help my child
he's fallen, i can't wake him up
i turn, i try, i'm almost blind
i wish that i could make it stop

doctor, doctor, don't you care
i'm not a number to erase
i stare, i wonder, at each face
and silently in prayer i dare

© labujamra

Sin

i can barely hear him now
i wonder with a frown
what's gotten in the way
please make it go away

i'm powerless to fight it
it's quick and quite destructive
no matter how i want to
i find myself inept to

some say i must try harder
the current is getting stronger
my only hope is higher
my God - my Jesus - savior

© labujamra