I'm not sure when I started veering off the main road, i'm not sure when i took that wrong turn, but somehow, someway, i did. And it's been ugly.
The funny thing about it is that a lot of people may not have noticed a huge change. After all, these kinds of things happen slowly, subtly, and it only becomes obvious that something is wrong when you're suddenly 100 miles down the road and too lost to turn around.
I suppose some people could explain away the subtleties. Oh, she just broke off her engagement. Give her some time to adjust, to rearrange her life dreams and vision. Or maybe it's the economy. Times are tight. Everyone is stressed out. It could even be a family thing, her parents are aging, you know how hard that can be. I suppose some people may even understand and excuse the changes. After all, it's busier than ever in the ER....this swine flu thing really took a hit on everyone....no one appreciates doctors anymore, the hours are long, the pay is low...and on and on the excuses go.
But today i've decided no more excuses. No more pretexts. No more blaming my boss, or the current administration, or the check out lady at the grocery store.
I'm making some changes starting today. I'm making some resolutions starting now. I'm sure this list will grow, but a girl's gotta start somewhere....so, here goes:
Resolved to put God back on the throne.
Resolved to be quick to repent over my wrong attitudes, wrong motives, wrong choices and wrong words (because i know i'll fail and often!)
Resolved to go back to the basics.
Resolved to love those who are hard to love.
Resolved to listen more and speak less.
Resolved to give up my rights for the good of others.
Resolved to refuse the lies of the devil.
Resolved to wait.
Resolved to enjoy today because i don't know what tomorrow brings.
Resolved to trust God's timing and plan.
Resolved to proclaim Christ in everything i do, and when actions fail me, to speak His name loudly and resolutely.
Resolved to respect everyone. no exceptions.
Resolved to recognize and submit to the authorities in my life even when i don't agree with their decisions.
Resolved to live my life for God's pleasure and renown.
Resolved to love Christ and the cross.
He is my life, my hope, my all. It's time i start living that way again.
So help me God.
